Superbowl Sunday in which I watch hockey and puppies

Dear David Duchovny, Animal Planet & Pedigree Dog Food,
Please stop making me cry with your shelter dog commercials. You’re ruining Puppy Bowl IV for me. If I could adopt every single dog in the world, I would but I think that’s illegal. How about I adopt you, Mr. Duchovny, instead. And bring Echo with you.
Thanks,
Little [...]